Sigils for Joy (The Performance Pony is Exhausted)

Are you tired? I’m tired all the time.

I’m tired of the racists, rapists, and fascists clawing at power. I’m tired of witnessing massive, uncorrected injustice. I’m tired of extreme weather shifts, year-round allergies, AI moving faster than our collective ethics, my dishwasher breaking, perimenopause disrupting my sleep/workouts/life, digital overwhelm, platforms, messages, and the endless administrative confetti of being alive.

I’m tired of being tired.

And then there's that little voice in my head that says, "But be grateful because there are people in this world who are actually suffering, and you're not one of them. So find gratitude." That's why I wrote a whole piece on celebratory gratitude, because that thought just feels like more exhausting self-punishment.

When I get to this point of exhaustion in my body, my mind, and heart, I feel very tantrum-y. It's a childish response, but...That’s useful data.

Witch Wisdom: Your youngest parts are also your oldest witnesses. Do not underestimate their wisdom or their power to return you to your center.

Let the childish parts take over, because a 90-minute complicated ritual or other high concept self care routine (off your endless self-improvement to-do list) is not the solution.

When the kids inside of you show up, let them play.

I’ve learned that when I get that tantrum energy it’s a call to action to PLAY! My relationship with play continues to improve as it has often felt like a waste of time in the past. Also, defining play for myself didn’t always match up with what others were doing. So allowing myself to play has been a complicated process. But with the work I’ve done with my younger selves and honoring their wisdom/needs/desires has also allowed me to repeatedly prove to myself that simple activities that don’t do anything but make me happy are often the way out of the exhaustion and back to a more balanced self.

We live in a timeline that feels full of incessantly horrific, chaotic, and unjust macro and micro pressures. Welcome to being alive! But after a time of experiencing those pressures your body builds an unconscious, rigid brace. You tell yourself, "I’ll rest when the calendar clears."

But even when a blank space finally opens up, your inner performance pony is so wired on adrenaline it cannot settle.

Rest becomes a battlefield. So we must bypass the guards.

I could drag us into the neuroscience of play here, but let’s not make the performance pony do homework. The simple version: low-stakes play can help your body remember flexibility, safety, and delight after too much bracing.

Yesterday, I walked past a colorful children’s chalk drawing on a Brooklyn sidewalk. Simple. Raw. Unedited. My physical eyes saw chalk, but some young and ancient part of me recognized it instantly as a symbol of absolute freedom. In a world this heavy, simple is highly effective.

When I allowed my internal little ones to soak in the magic of those symbols for play I began to feel inspired and lighter. My spontaneous smile spread over my whole being and I felt like I was radiating happiness. I became a true light in the dark.

That was just from allowing myself to enjoy the chalk drawings. Imagine what happens when I allow myself and you allow yourself the time to reset physically, emotionally, biologically in an overly demanding world with something as simple as a puzzle or a silly dance.

Need help getting there? I got you.

Free Practice: Make a Sigil for Joy When Your Nervous System Is Fried
I made you a simple practice for creating a visual symbol your body can recognize as joy, relief, and permission. It lives inside the Vault so you can get a feel for the school without pressure.

→ Visit the Vault and make your free Sigil for Joy here: blog.melgutierrez.com/simple-sigils-for-joy/

With playful delight,

Mel, The Body Witch

P.S. Already inside the school? Bring this to Estrellita using this prompt:

“Estrellita, I am somatically exhausted and my mind is looping in stress. I want to make a simple joy sigil that I can use to help me shift into a more playful state.”